Bahamas: Spring Break Primer

September 6th, 2015
Bahamas: Spring Break Primer

Women of questionable virtue, drinking til dawn, 3am hot tub parties and beach volleyball. This can only mean one thing: spring break…flagrant style.
This year, we decided to check out the Bahamas for our annual spring break festivities. Boy, were we glad we did. Three weeks later and i’m still recovering.
Our trip consisted of taking a cruise ship from Ft. Lauderdale to the beautiful Bahamas. 0705_destination_sub

The cruise
Getting on the cruise took forever, with checking in your bags, clearing customs and security screenings, it took us about 3 hours and was about as much fun as shower time at Sing-Sing.
If you’re thinking of bringing your own ‘herbs’ or any other illicit party favors with you on the trip, let me squash that idea right now.

When you board the ship, there’s a DEA agent with a four legged companion that sniffs everybody as they board.
It would suck large if you had to spend spring break in a Florida jail cell.
When setting up your trip, we recommend going through spring break travel like we did. They hook you up with everything you need to make your travels smooth.

Once we were on board, there were stewards offering refreshing and potent beverages called the ‘Bahama Mama’ which we happily guzzled as we ate breakfast (did I mention that it was 9am)

The Hotel Room
Our hotel (The Royal Islander) was located directly across the street for two of the popular night clubs in freeport.
More importantly, we were also directly across from the liquor and beer store. The room was spacious, clean and beautiful. The staff were amazing and our room was in a primo spot (Close to the ice maker and right across from the hot tub).

Lesson #1- Get a good room
When checking in, try to get a room that close to the hot tub. This way (as our producer found out) you’re only a few steps away from fixing yourself a drink when going for a 3am hot tub party.

Lesson #2 – Set up your own bar
Let’s face it, during spring break, most hotels jack up the prices on everything. Since our trip wasn’t all inclusive, we decided to forego being jacked at the bar and we set up our own in the hotel room. As I mentioned before, we were right across from the liquor store. So at night, we turned out bathroom sink into a beer chiller.

Use the garbage can to chill the mix (club soda, cranberry juice, coke etc) and used out ice bucket for our drinking ice.

The Nightlife
If you like blondes with more boobs than brains, then you’ll have a blast. We went to every club on freeport and they were all good. Our recommendation is to go to Port Lucaya. Its an outdoor area where they throw huge parties at night. Its close to the marina so you can take the honey you just picked up for a romantic walk around the marina before you close the deal.
By the way, from our experience, the girls from North Carolina and Kentucky pretty much had “questionable virtues”

Lesson #3 – Everybody’s there to have a great time so don’t be afraid to make a move on as many women as you possibly can.

The Beaches
The beaches were simply M-I-N-T! Clear sand, beautiful water and sting bikinis everywhere. We recommend you head straight to Lucaya Beach. This is were all the hotties hang out. Xanadu beach is also nice but its much more subdued.

All in all, the trip was fantastic. No one got arrested, injured or deported and we meet a bunch of new friends. Can’t wait till next spring break.

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